c.o.u.n.t.i.n.g

counting days 2 hari raya celebration..
just one week left..
only 4 days more to go to work b4 leave..

but, 4 me..i feel nothing
not excited like others
dun know y but maybe bcoz getting older
huh..so sad

i dun know but, deep indise my heart i don want 2 celebrate raya
bcoz i dun want to meet people
dun want 2 meet relatives, frenz and all
if i have a lot of money, i'll ask my asben to go for holiday during hari raya
but, i am not sure whether i can do that bcoz i still have parent n siblings

d main reason is bcoz i am childless
this coming OCT me n asben will celebrate our 3rd anniversary
yeah..3 years already n we still dun have any children
me n asben accept this as this is from GOD
HE know what is good 4 us..
maybe this is not d right time yet
 
but, i dun want to meet others bcoz i am sick of them asking me how many children i have
i am sick when all of them used 2 share their children stories..
i am sick all of that..

not only @ home..
in fact there was a person asking me about children at graveyard
tell me how should i react to her..

i am sick of keep smiling n answer the question with,

takde anak..
belum lagi..
belum ada anak lagi..
belum ada rezeki lagi..

come on..
could anybody tell me until when should i answer this question..

i am too tired..
give me some space 2 live up life happily..
dun treat me as handicap just bcoz i am childless..

Please give me strenght to go through all these situation..

a.p.p.o.i.n.m.e.n.t

yesterday got appoinment @ O&G Putrajaya Hospital..
went there wt asben.
meet doctor @ 8.30am.
she revealed d result of HSG
she explained 2 me that both my tube are normal
so, she suggested me to take clomid for 3 cycles...

so, got clomid 5 tablets for 5 days.
must take clomid during day 2 to day 6 period.
then, have 2 consult doctor on day 10 2 see d egg progress

really hope miracle from HIM..
Almighty, please make our dream come true.
Please granted us wt children..Ameen...

s.w.i.m.m.i.n.g

went to swiming classes @ Presint 5 wt my sister sumwhere in april 2014
have 2 pay RM150.00 for 8 classes.
but, just attend clasess  4 times only..
very lazy huh..
end up, only know d techniques
able 2 swim but not perfect..

after all, better than nothing

a.m.b.a.c.k

lama sgt menyepi..
macam2 perkara dah terjadi..
ada suka
ada duka
sume tu dugaan..

kuatkan ati terima segalanya dengan hati terbuka.
doa pada DIA..moga diberi ketabahan

now, i am here at new opis..
more closer 2 my house
no need 2 worry like before
but, i am a bit different now..

b4 this i used to go 2 work @ 8.00am.
my opis hour from 8.30 - 5.30pm
but, now i used to go to work @ 7.00am
opis hour begin @ 7.30am to 4.30pm
me become morning person nowadays
but, only 4 Ramadhan..

after this, since august onwards i'll take WP2.
opis hour from 8.00am to 5.00pm

among things that happened in my life from jan until july 2014..
i) got promoted. as consequence of that, have 2 move 2 new opis..
ii) house renovation since May 2014
iii) undergo HSG procedure @ putrajaya hospital in May 2014
iv) travel 2 brunei in Januari & Vietnam in April 2014
v) my sister transfer 2 my hometown - feel lonely
vi) apply 2 further study @ UPM. now, still waiting d result

thats all for now..
i'll write again..